Walking at sunset over the hills and dales, and willy-nilly perceiving the exterior visibility of those enchanting parts of the bosom of Great Nature, the Common Mother, and involuntarily inhaling a pure air uncontaminated by the usual exhalations of industrial towns, our Kurd quite naturally suddenly felt a wish to gratify himself with some ordinary food also; so sitting down by the side of the road, he took from his provision bag some bread and the "fruit" he had bought which had looked so good to him, and leisurely began to eat. 88 BTG I

I think it will be interesting and even instructive to you to know that all this made so powerful an impression on me at that time that I suddenly became unable to endure anyone around me, and therefore, as soon as we left the room where the mortal "planetary body" of the cause of the cause of my arising lay, I very quietly, trying not to attract attention, stole away to the bin where during Lent the bran and potato skins for our "sanitarians", that is to say, our pigs, were stored, and lay there, without food or drink, in a tempest of whirling and confused thoughts — of which, fortunately for me, I had then in my childish brain still only a very limited number — right until the return from the cemetery of my mother, whose weeping on finding me gone and after searching for me in vain, as it were "overwhelmed" me, I then immediately emerged from the bin and standing first of all on the edge, for some reason or other with outstretched hand, ran to her and clinging fast to her skirts, involuntarily began to stamp my feet and why, I don't know, to imitate the braying of the donkey belonging to our neighbor, a bailiff. 120 BTG I

From this blow, I, as is said, "saw stars", and at the same time my mouth became as full as if it had been stuffed with the food necessary for the artificial fattening of a thousand chickens. 147 BTG I

"The most 'important ' beings will decree to all the other beings that in all their appointed establishments, such as what are called 'churches ', 'chapels ', 'synagogues ', 'townhalls ', and so on, special officials shall on special occasions with appointed ceremonies wish for you in thought something like the following: "That you should lose your horns, or that your hair should turn prematurely grey, or that the food in your stomach should turned into coffin nails, or that your future wife 's tongue should be three times its size, or that whenever you take a bite of your pet pie it should be turned into 'soap ', and so on and so forth in the same strain. 615 BTG XI

"'In exactly the same way, your external and all your internal organs are also created by our COMMON CREATOR in a corresponding manner. You are given legs to walk; hands to prepare and take the necessary food; your nose and the organs connected with it are so adapted that you may take in and transform in yourself those World-substances by which there are coated in the three-brained beings similar to yourself both higher-being bodies, on one of which rests the hope of our COMMON ALL-EMBRACING CREATOR for help in His needs, for the purpose of actualizations foreseen by Him for the good of Everything Existing. 1178 BTG XIX

"It is interesting to notice, that it was the custom then, for priests to exist simply on the offerings of their parishioners, and this priest Abdil had also been in the habit of receiving from parishioners all kinds of food for his ordinary existence, as for instance, roast and boiled 'corpses' of beings of various exterior forms, such as 'chickens', 'sheep', 'geese', and so on. But after this famous speech of his nobody brought him any of these customary offerings but brought or sent him only fruits, flowers, handiwork, and so on. 1239 BTG XIX

"But we people not only fail to pay them their due honor and respect, but we even destroy their existences for our food as well as for our Sacrificial-Offerings. 1373 BTG XX

"As, for instance, the custom was established there of placing troughs in all the squares, public places, and at the crossroads of the town, where residents of the city Gob could in the morning throw their choicest morsels of food for dogs and other stray beings of various forms; and at sunrise, throw into the Sea of Beneficence every kind of food for the beings called 'fishes'. 1397 BTG XX

"A whole 'gathering' of these wild beings would form round our camp at night, having come there to provide themselves with something suitable for their first food, a meeting rather like an 'assembly' of your favorites during what is called the 'quotation of stock prices' or during their 'election' of representatives to some society or other, the nominal purpose of which is the joint pursuit of a means to the happy existence of all beings like themselves without distinction of their notorious castes. 1574 BTG XXII

"And that 'blessing' of contemporary civilization is used there chiefly by what are called 'confectioners' and other specialists who prepare for the other beings of that planet most 'tasty' articles for their first food. 2487 BTG XXIX

"The confectioners and other professionals there who prepare the said tasty articles for the first food of the rest of your favorites use this same German 'sure-fire' composition, alisarine, of course unconsciously, for that purpose which has there already finally become the ideal for the whole of the contemporary civilization, which purpose is expressed in the language of our honored Mullah Nassr Eddin in the following words: 'As-long-as-everything-looks-fine-and-dandy-to-me-what-does-it-matter-if-the-grass-doesn't-grow'. 2488 BTG XXIX

"At the present time the beings of various parts of contemporary Italy actualize this property of giving-pleasure-to-others in the following way: "The existence of the quadruped beings called 'sheep' and 'goats', whose planetary bodies they also use for their first food, they do not destroy all at once; but in order to give this 'pleasure' they do it 'slowly' and 'gently' over a period of many days; that is to say, one day they take off one leg, then a few days later, a second leg, and so on, for as long as the sheep or goat still breathes. And sheep and goats can breathe without the said parts of their common presence for a very long time because, in the main functions of the taking in of cosmic substances for the possibility of existing, these parts do not participate, though they do participate in the functions which actualize those impulses giving self-sensations. 2515 BTG XXIX

"The use of chewing this keva consists in this, that by chewing it, much what is called there on Earth 'saliva' and also other substances are formed in beings, which are worked out by their planetary bodies so that their first being-food may be the better and more easily transformed in them, or as they themselves say, so that this food may be the better and more easily 'digested and assimilated'. 3604 BTG XXXIV

"Thanks to this keva their teeth are also strengthened and the cavities in their mouths too are cleaned from the remains of the first food; the use of keva is very necessary for your favorites, particularly for this second purpose, as these remains, not decomposing owing to the chewing of keva, do not give off that disagreeable 'odor' from their mouths which has already become proper particularly to the contemporary three-brained beings there. 3605 BTG XXXIV

"Through the 'pores' of the skin of the beings, not only the new second being-food enters, but also through several of these pores, after the transformation of this second being-food, those parts of this food are given off from the skin which are either no longer necessary for the planetary body of the beings or which are already the result of its transmutation. 3609 BTG XXXIV

"Further, a part of these definite substances of 'being-Defteroëhary' go to serve the planetary body itself and also the local Harnelmiatznel in respect of the newly entering food, but the other part, also by means of a process of Harnelmiatznel of local character, continues its independent evolution and is ultimately transmuted in beings into the still higher definite substances which are called, this time, 'being-Tritoëhary'. 4507 BTG XXXIX

"When a food crisis supervened in his fatherland Germany, he, sympathizing with the plight of his compatriots, invented his first conjury, which consisted in the preparation of a very cheap and economical 'chicken soup'. 5621 BTG XLII

"'Menu' there on your planet, is the name given to a sheet of paper on which are written the names of all the varieties of food and drink available in the said restaurant. 5654 BTG XLII

"And I had seen food prepared innumerable times, and also in my own house. So I already more or less knew that to prepare a single dish, at least two or three saucepans were required; and I reckoned that as these Americans prepared seventy-eight dishes in one kitchen they would certainly need about three hundred pots and pans. 5658 BTG XLII

"Then having lighted his 'dwarf stove' he put the frying pan on it; and still moving ponderously, he then went over to one of the many cupboards, took from it a tin of some canned food, opened it, and emptied its contents into the said frying pan. 5669 BTG XLII

"Then in the same way he went over to another cupboard, and again took out a tin of some canned food, but this time he put only a little of the contents into the frying pan, and having stirred the resulting mixture, he put the whole lot with precision on a plate which he set on the table and again sat down in his former place and resumed the interrupted reading of his newspaper. 5670 BTG XLII

"The waiter who had ordered this 'fancy dish' soon returned to the kitchen bearing a very large what is called 'copper' tray on which were a vast quantity of hollow metal, what is called fashionable cutlery, and having placed the dish with this strange food on the said tray he carried the whole into the restaurant. 5671 BTG XLII

"Here you should know concerning the active elements from which all cosmic formations are in general formed by Nature — both those subject to transformation through the Tetartocosmoses and which are the products of the first food of beings as well as in general all other completely spiritualized and half-spiritualized arisings — that, as soon as the corresponding time arrives, these active elements, in whatever conditions they may be found, obligatorily begin separating in a certain order of succession from those masses in which they were fused during the Trogoautoegocratic process. 5773 BTG XLII

"Among their organs for the complete transformation of the first food is one that exists almost everywhere under the name of 'Toospooshokh', or, as they themselves call it, a 'blind process' and in their scientific terminology, appendix'. 5807 BTG XLII

"The action of this organ, as appointed by Great Nature, is that various connective cosmic substances separated by the transformation of the various surplanetary crystallizations which compose the 'first being-food', are gathered in it in the form of what are called 'gases', in order that later, at the time of the elimination from the common presences of the beings of the already waste residue of the said food, these 'gases' should by this pressure assist this act. 5808 BTG XLII

"The beings of the continent Asia always preserve all their food products roasted or boiled, because, according to this custom which reached them from their remote ancestors, products preserved in this way do not decompose so rapidly as when raw. 5844 BTG XLII

"However long fruit prepared in this way may hang, it scarcely ever spoils, and when these odd necklaces are to be used for food, they are put into hot water for a little, whereupon all the fat on them being heated entirely disappears, and the fruit itself is as if it had been freshly picked from the tree. 5866 BTG XLII

"After long and intensive work, Brother Asiman found for this purpose a combination of chemical substances in the form of a 'powder', one small thimbleful of which, introduced into a being once in every twenty-four hours, made it possible for him both to exist without consuming anything else except water as food, and to perform all his being-obligations without injury. 5876 BTG XLII

"This document contained, among other things, several very interesting details about the action of this said preparation of Asiman. It was stated that when this preparation was introduced into the presence of a being it had besides its nourishing property, a particular action upon what are called the 'wandering nerves of the stomach', from which action not only did the need for food immediately cease in beings, but furthermore, every desire to introduce into oneself any other edible product whatsoever entirely disappeared. And if something should be forcibly introduced, it took a long time before the disagreeable sensation and state thus provoked would pass. 5881 BTG XLII

"'But as to what should and should not be consumed as food during a fast — just in that question "is buried the left paw of the curly-haired dog of the ex-Emperor Wilhelm". 6117 BTG XLII

"'It was just during that Kelnuanian Council that its members first laid down the rule that the followers of the teaching of Jesus Christ should on certain days abstain from consuming certain edible products for food. 6158 BTG XLII

"'The philosopher Veggendiadi, it seems, occupied two days in affirming and proving that it was absolutely necessary to spread among all the followers of the teachings of Jesus the notion that to kill animals for the purpose of consuming their flesh for food was the greatest sin, and moreover that such flesh was very harmful to the health, and so on. 6163 BTG XLII

"'"Had I not also been interested in this question for many years and had I not reached certain entirely different definite conclusions, then after all that our Brother in Christ Veggendiadi has said here, I should not hesitate a moment but should urge and conjure you all not to delay until tomorrow, but without looking behind to hasten back to your towns, and there in the public squares to cry aloud: 'Stop! Stop! People! Consume no more meat for food! This practice of yours is not only contrary to all the commandments of God, but is the cause of all your diseases'. 6169 BTG XLII

"''Well then, when, thanks to these experimental researches of mine, I became clearly convinced that if people continue to consume meat for their food it will be very bad for them, and that on the other hand if only some of them should abstain, no good would come of this either; I thereafter devoted myself entirely for a time to finding out what could nevertheless be done for the future welfare of the majority of the people. 6180 BTG XLII

"'"At the outset I then established for myself two categorical propositions: the first, that people accustomed for so many centuries to consuming meat for their food would never, with their weak wills, be able to make themselves cease consuming it in order to overcome this criminal tendency of theirs; and the second, that even if people should decide not to eat meat and should in fact keep their decision for a certain time, and should even lose the habit of eating meat, they would nevertheless never be able to abstain from eating it for a sufficient length of time to acquire a total aversion to it. They would not be able to do so because never on the Earth will it occur that all people will have the same religion or form a single government, without which condition there can never exist common to all, any suggestive, prohibitive, penal, or other kind of compulsory influence, owing to which alone people possessing in general the property of being stimulated by example, aroused by envy, and influenced magnetically, might be enabled to keep forever a resolution once taken. 6181 BTG XLII

"Every family of these gypsies has also what is called a 'Tandoor', that is, a special kind of earth pit, such as is found in the houses almost everywhere on the continent of Asia and which serves as a hearth on which they usually bake bread and prepare food. 6213 BTG XLII

"The point is that this cosmic formation which serves as the second food for beings is also composed according to the second fundamental common cosmic law of the Sacred Triamazikamno, and is also actualized by means of its three heterogeneous cosmic substances. 6344 BTG XLII

"The second are the substances transformed on that planet itself on which the beings fed by this food exist. 6346 BTG XLII

"The first concerns the question of food; the second consists of the recollections associated with the former functionings of their sexual organs; and the third relates to the memories of their first nurse. 6548 BTG XLIII

It has always been kept tied up; and for food, instead of oats and hay, there is given to it merely straw which is utterly worthless for its real needs. 7168 BTG XLVIII

The consequence of all this is that all the inclinations of the horse, deprived of all interests and aspirations, must inevitably be concentrated on food, drink, and the automatic yearning towards the opposite sex; hence it invariably veers in the direction where it can obtain any of these. If, for example, it catches sight of a place where even once or twice it gratified one of the enumerated needs, it waits the chance to run off in that direction. 7170 BTG XLVIII

Reference: Beelzebub's Tales to his Grandson